As I've talked about before, this year has been an enormous learning experience regarding "spiritual development," or whichever term people use to describe the process of growing closer to God. It's been my first year of graduate school at my undergraduate university, something that I had not planned on in a million years. I was convinced that I would be leaving LaTech after four years. I expected to go to graduate school at somewhere like Tulane or the University of Florida. Those two schools had other plans. Even though two other good schools accepted me last year, LaTech was the only one to offer financial aid. On top of that, tons and tons of prayer revealed a growing peace about staying in school here.
So, I began what will be two years of graduate school at LaTech. One of my greatest fears was that the separation from my ministry, the Wesley Foundation, would leave me as a shell of what I once was. I thought it was my lifeline, and being quasi-here but too busy to be involved would only bring about a slow drifting into spiritual complacency. God had other plans.
For a long time my prayer life was sporadic and emotionally charged at best. That was the substance of it. There was a lack of consistency, and if you read my journal entries from back then my emotions seem to have been on the fritz. So this fall I felt this urge to pray daily at the same time. I read about meditation and learned that for centuries Christians used it to settle in and catalyze a connection to God that was free of distractions. They could calm down and listen. So I started the meditations and the prayer every morning. With a few exceptions, it's been a steady, daily part of my life this year that I can almost describe as addictive. Addictive in the best of ways. It's been difficult, but it has been life. I focused in on the process described in John 15 as well as fleshing out the Lord's prayer, and from there I've known the kingdom in new ways that make me wonder what can be called life outside of this?
So several weeks ago I started thinking a little more about the concept of pilgrimage. Yes, the ritual. No, it wouldn't be rote and purposeless. In contrast, it would reorient the day toward the kingdom. I've only been convicted about the first hour of the day, but the idea is that eventually the whole day will make for a kind of micro-pilgrimage. So far it only consists of climbing out of bed and showering like I normally do. The difference is that now the shower is a time to pray against lust. A breadcrumb trail, a marker on the pilgrim's trail. I've seen the destruction caused by lust. I've seen how it's warped and twisted my views, numbed me to life. I've also caught glimpses of what redemption from it looks like. Things look, smell, taste, and open themselves to appreciation. I'll pray for its hold on the body of Christ as well. That people will be bold and fight back. Christ said "blessed are the pure of heart, for they will see God." That's bold, and it's what my convictions reinforce to be true.
After the shower I'll meditate, and I'll work through the Lord's prayer like usual. From there, I hope I can think of other routine things in the day that remind me. Markers on the trail. These won't be burdens, but rather invitations.
May the kingdom come, and may His will be done...
