Saturday, May 03, 2008

Let's go deep!


Sitting here in this coffee shop I realize what it means for me to have two weeks of college left. I mean, sure, I do plan on going to graduate school. I know that will be something different though. All the same, I can't seem to stop thinking about what it will be like to say my college days are done. Degree in hand, over, done. I've learned so much in them. I owe to these days the bulk of my faith journey. I have grown a lot. Spiritually, emotionally...dare I say physically. Ok, so there are no more 40-50 running miles a week like in high school. I'm excited that I have so much more life to go. I mean, I've read enough of the scriptures to know that I believe God is good. Like goooooood kind of good. I know he loves me so much. He's shown that so much. I was just reading the other day in Judges about Gideon. In short, Gideon isn't exactly the cream of the crop to break down the alters and kick out the bad guys. But when he does demolish the alter to Baal and Ashera...that happens to be in his back yard...the people try to kill him. Gideon's father tells them that they should let Baal contend with the offense...after all it was his alter that Gideon took the pleasure of smashing. Because of it all, Gideon gets to be one of those interesting people in the scriptures to get a new name. It's Jerubbaal...which means in short "let Baal contend." That took faith. I want that kind of faith. My God is that kind of God. I want the smashing of the idol to be done in the kind of faith that lets the evidence declare I really don't need that anymore. If it were so great...then let it contend. It kind of works both ways I guess, but what if we applied that to our lives? I guess I should clarify...what if I said of the things that I fear. Like, I'm sort of afraid that I won't be provided for. Sometimes I just have trouble believing that the ravens will come. I think if we explored Gideon we might find some picture of faith. I think things would change. I want to drink deep. To live and love well. Too well. Unnaturally well. I want to get there. Oh yeah...and I want people to come along!